Austin’s Bill of Rights

My son is an auditory learner. He can read something all day and not learn very much. Let him hear it once, and BOOM. He’s got it. Which is why he’s having trouble in History (for the first time in his school career). His teacher believes in letting kids go to a quiet corner and read about it. When we found out she was doing that, we had to start teaching it over again at home. Rather frustrating.

Anyway, he has to know the Bill of Rights tomorrow. Here’s what we came up with to remember. See if you can see the Bill of Rights in this…

One, YouR’e a SAPP.
Two, I’ll shoot you.
Three, my house is for me.
Four, stay out my door.
Five Due Process of Law (think golden rings)
Six, the trial was fixed.
Seven, Jury heaven.
Eight, what is my fate?
Nine, my rights are fine.
Ten, the power’s in.

Feels a little bit like the Dirty Dozen, huh? Here’s it is again with the actual bill under it.

One, YouR’e a SAPP.
1. Freedom of Religion,Speech, Assembly, Petition and Press.

Two, I’ll shoot you.
2. The right to bear arms.

Three, my house is for me.
3. The right not to quarter soldiers in private homes.

Four, stay out my door.
4. Freedom from unreasonable search and seizure.

Five Due Process of Law (think golden rings)
5. Due Process of Law (right to remain silent, right to an attorney, etc)

Six, the trial was fixed.
6. The right to a speedy trial.

Seven, Jury heaven.
7. The right to a trial by jury.

Eight, what is my fate?
8. No cruel or unusual punishment.

Nine, my rights are fine.
9. Constitutional rights do not deny other rights not listed.

Ten, the power’s in.
10. Powers not listed in the Constitution belong to the State.

How would you learn it?

Birmingham 3-Day Diet

My wife stumbled upon a diet recently. I had serious doubts that any 3-day diet would make any kind of an impact and may even prove unhealthy. I guess I was wrong.

According to the old copy we received, this diet was developed, or at least used, by a cardiac unit in Birmingham for patients who need to lose large amounts of weight heading into a surgery. The claim is that you can lose up to 40 lbs in a month. After doing it I suppose that it’s possible, although I wouldn’t recommend trying it without the oversight of professionals.

The goal is to diet for 3 days, then spend a few days eating responsibly, then back another 3 days, etc. Sherri has gone through it three times in three weeks and I’ve done it twice in two weeks. Sherri has lost 12 lbs and 2 pant sizes. I’ve lost 14 lbs and a belt notch. It hasn’t been hard at all.

There are some substitutions allowed. I didn’t know that when I first saw it, which was the first thing that turned me off. Keep that in mind as you read it and I’ll tell you about the possible changes in a minute. So, here it is:

DAY ONE
Breakfast:
1 cup black coffee or tea
1/2 grapefruit or juice (8 oz)
1 slice toast
1 tbs. peanut butter

Lunch:
1/2 cup tuna
1 slice toast
coffee or tea

Dinner:
3 oz. any type meat
1 cup string beans
1 cup beets or carrots
1 small apple
1 cup vanilla ice cream

DAY TWO
Breakfast:
1 cup black coffee or tea
1 egg
1 slice toast
1/2 banana

Lunch:
1 cup cottage cheese or tuna
5 saltine crackers

Dinner:
2 wieners (franks)
1 cup broccoli or cabbage
1/2 cup carrots
1/2 banana
1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

DAY THREE
Breakfast:
1 cup black coffee or tea
5 saltine crackers
1 slice cheddar cheese
1 small apple

Lunch:
1 hard boiled egg
1 slice toast
1 cup black coffee or tea

Dinner:
1 cup tuna
1 cup beets or carrots
1 cup cauliflower or greens
1 cup cantaloupe
1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

The paper says, “This diet works on a chemical breakdown and is proven to work. Do not vary or substitute any of the foods. Salt and pepper may be used but no other seasoning. This diet is to be used 3 days at a time. In 3 days you will lose 10 lbs. After 3 days dieting you can eat your usual food, but do not overeat. After 4 days of normal eating, start back on the 3-day diet.”

I did some substituting within the diet. For instance, on lunch for day 2, I would do a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and a 1/2 cup of tuna instead of one cup of either one. I don’t handle fruit well (it’s a texture thing), so whenever apple or bananas were called for, I would drink grapefruit juice. On some days, I would substitute 5 crackers for a slice of toast (we have no toaster at work). We also found some tuna packages that came flavored… 1/2 cup of sweet and spicy tuna or lemon pepper tuna. They’re new. Even though seasoning is off limits, I did it anyway. I still lost 14 lbs.

As I’ve told others, anyone can do 3 days. Try it once and see if you like it. If so, try it again the next week. I did it Tues-Thu so I could have my weekends free for normal food… in moderation, of course. Good luck!

Help! I need this bike!

I need the help of all my friends online. I am looking for a special bike. This is a picture of Shay, from this season’s Biggest Loser. She was eliminated in week 9 and this is a screen grab from her “where are they now?” video online. You can see the actual clip at this link. The bike scene happens a little over a minute into the video.

It’s a trike, with a wheel in the back. There is no seat, you stand on the machine. In motion, it acts like a stepper. The handles move back and forth as you move, like a stepper as well. The bike/trike/stepper is apparently steered by leaning, like a Segway.

I’ve looked online and can’t seem to find the thing. This would be perfect for me, if I can figure out what it is. Anyone have a clue?

Maybe Sean can help me out. Sean, did you use any of these on the Ranch or when you got home. What is it?

UPDATE: Thanks for the help folks. These are called Streetstriders and can be found at Streetstrider.com. They are apparently pretty popular and low in stock. And they cost $1,999. Ouchy.

Roses and Recordings

>Not much in general to say lately. We’ve got our house on the market and we’re waiting. One week and no calls.

In the meantime, we’ve had some nice rains and Sherri’s roses have come out nicely. Not that she planted them or anything. They were here when we moved in. She rescued them because they were in pretty bad shape. The rains have helped. Midland water on roses does not do well. Too many minerals. So the better the rain, the better the roses.

I’m heading to Lubbock for the next four days. I’ve been producing the new release for Taylor Productions. RJ (Sonny) Taylor released a hymnal over 10 years ago. Every year he releases a supplement accompanied by a CD for education and edification. The first 5 were done by Darrell Bledsoe when he was in Houston. The next 5 were done with Ryan Christian at Richland Hills. I get to do #11.

It’s been a lot of fun. I’ve recruited 3 other singers to help me do it right. Lauren Mooney and Jill Riggan are both members of Best Friends from LCU. They sing like angels. For bass, well, there was never really a question. Gary Evans is amazing.

So, my first project with Studio 84 is taking me back to old school. A cappella again.

Ashley & the Talent Show

Ash really wanted to be in the talent show at Midland Christian this year. She kept jumping back and forth on what she wanted to do… sing, play, what song, etc. The night before the show, 90 minutes from rehearsal, she still had not settled on what she was doing. I was concerned, being the stupid perfectionist that I am. So I made her try out for me. Afterwards, I made a small suggestion. She loves doing remixes on Acid (the program, not the drug). Why not do a remix of the song she really wanted to do? Her mind went to work and you can now see Ashley performing Bella’s Lullaby from the movie Twilight… techno.

Moving?

It seems the rumor mill is still alive and well. We’ve not tried to keep this a secret. At the same time, we’ve not gone out and shouted it from the mountaintop either. That being said, yes, we are seriously considering a move to Lubbock this summer.

I’ve had several people come up and ask me about it. I suppose it’s time to talk more about it. My job with Moyers Sound and Studio 84 is increasing in scope. Studio 84 is in need of someone to manage it. Things are about to take off there, with many plans on the drawing board. Instead of trying to find someone to oversee it all, Wally asked me if I would consider moving to Lubbock and doing it myself.

So, here we go again. This time, it’s a good move. We have not sold our house as of yet. That’s a big thing. We feel sure that God has something up his proverbial sleeve. I’ve begun to put together a website to help it sell. If you are interested, you can find it at 3306Dentcrest.com, which is the actual address of our house.

Sherri is applying at several school districts in the area, Lubbock, Frenship & Shallowater. We’ve made an offer on a house in Shallowater, so it would be very nice to get a job there. We’ll see.

If anyone has any suggestions or networking possibilities, please let me know. God seems to be on a roll with this one, and he may want to use you. 🙂

The Simple Life

>This past week was a both a breath of fresh air and an exhausting experience.

My mother’s family is from central Missouri, the little hamlet of Middle Grove, about 30 miles north of Columbia. Her only sister, Margaret, is at home in hospice care after a long fight with cancer. We used the spring break from school as a chance for my family to reconnect with her and several other aging family members in Missouri.

The exhausting experience comes from the fact that the family no longer lives in Middle Grove. They’ve spread out in a 45 mile radius from Centralia to Mexico to Paris to Moberly. So instead of driving 2 miles to see the next relative, we drove about 50 miles a day after a 900 mile trip there. Then a 900 mile trip back. We are plum exhausted.

At the same time, what I experienced was refreshing as well. Certainly the family renewal was part of it, but we left Missouri with a new appreciation of the country lifestyle. The majority of my Missouri relatives are seemingly isolated from the changes of the world and the culture around them. They see the news and are aware of the issues, but they don’t seem to be touched by it. Certainly not all of them fall into this category, and some of those who do have felt the effects at times (my uncle lost his farm because of the Nixon beef policy). But on the whole, they seem to be set apart from the entire thing.

We spent part of a day riding through Amish farm country. We shopped (and spent too much) in an Amish store. After leaving the Amish region and heading back into “normal society”… well, things didn’t feel too different.

They still live in the same homes. The homes themselves haven’t changed in 30 years. In some cases, it seems like the same dog is still in the barnyard. It’s sort of an eerie experience, overall.

Don’t take that as an insult. Remember, I said it was refreshing. They seem to have a better grasp on the biblical idea of taking one day at a time. Little worry and less rush. Get up, feed the cattle, work in the field, eat supper, sit around telling stories, go to bed. Sleep in the same bed your grandfather built. Next day repeat same.

There’s a sense of peacefulness and continuity that we miss in our rush-toward-tomorrow society. Some of them may read this and laugh, wondering what old crazy Gary is talking about now. That’s okay. I’ve always been a little off. I hope that’s because I’ve got some Missouri roots in me. It sure felt like home to me.

Mutant Potato Two-Toed Tater

>My son is in need of some extra cash and he’s learned about capitalism. So he’s asked me to sell this potato for him on Ebay. Here goes.

This truly unique potato is one of a kind. It’s a special spud. A two-toed tater. You can’t find a Murphy like this inside of Idaho or outside of Ireland. This one potato will feed at least one and a half people easily. This is one spud you don’t want to miss. Bid now and bid high!

If that doesn’t move you…

IT’S A MUTANT POTATO! Discovered in the south of New Mexico near White Sands, this potato grew from a small root into a two-headed terror. Nothing in Roswell can match it. The entire town of Lovington ran screaming into the night when this potato was unveiled. Buy it now and clear your block of any unsavory types. Simply set the potato on your porch and the let the hideous nature of this tater take it’s course.

Or maybe…

For sale! Special lover’s potato. This special spud was designed with two in mind. You may have missed Valentine’s Day, but this V-shaped potato will bring it all back. Not only is it “V” in nature, but the rounded edges give it the unique properties of a heart. This potato beats for you. Buy it for your love now, or be forever sorry.

Or could it be….

If one were to stand on their head while looking at this picture, one would see that this potato looks very much like a Star Trek insignia. The new Star Trek movie is opening soon. Buy this potato and wear it on your chest with pride. This spud will help you live long and prosper.

My son just said, “I think that’s enough, Dad.” Please help him learn about the American Way. Buy my son’s potato. Please.

If you have a heart and wish to bid on my son’s potato and preserve his faith in justice, freedom and the free market system, follow this link to Ebay and bid high. My starving son thanks you. Well, actually he’s not starving or he would eat the stupid thing. But he thanks you anyway. (Bidding available through Mar-20-09 17:57:29 PDT)

New Horizons

It appears God has provided a new job for me, one that draws on my years of experience in the music industry. As you may have read below, I left my position with Mission Health Care about a month ago due to some seriously unethical behavior within the board of directors. About the time all of this came to a head, I was reintroduced to the Moyers family through a reunion.

Long story short: I am stepping into a position with Moyers Sound Solutions and Studio84. Moyers Sound is owned by two of my cousins, Wally Moyers and his son Jeremy. Wally has been running Moyers Sound Solutions in Lubbock for 20 years, installing sound, video and lighting systems in churches, concert halls, businesses and stadiums all over Texas. Jeremy opened up an Atlanta office in 2006 and has been focusing on taking his division nationally. I will be working out of the Atlanta office.

Studio84 is a professional recording studio and video production company. With studios in both Lubbock and Atlanta, they offer top-level audio recording and HD video services such as commercials, promotional video, aerial photography and video, and much more. I will also add website development to their list of offerings.

It seems that this is right up my alley. I will post more information soon. In the meantime, if your church or business is in need of audio/visual support or consultation, give us a call. I’m sure we can help you.

A-Hunting We Will Go

Read the title and think Elmer Fudd. Memories, huh?

We took a big step yesterday. I took my son hunting for the first time. Dove season opened yesterday so Alan Gower and I and our boys went out to his dove lease. Austin has been a big BB-gun and airsoft gun person for a while. I figured he could handle it. I asked if he wanted to come along and he jumped on it.

I never had the chance to hunt with my father. He wasn’t really a hunter. But after spending 15 years in Tennessee, I saw how important it was for a father and son to bond over a hunt. So I grabbed a little 410 shotgun and ran him through the basics of gun care and safety. He only fired accidentally once. Not bad for a first time. Thankfully, he had the gun pointed into the dirt pile in front of us, which is what I told him to do. He learned a lesson quickly.

Anyway, neither of us hit anything. We went out in the middle of the afternoon to avoid crowds and make it easier on the kids, but nothing was flying. Still, we had a good time.

My son is hunter. Cool.